I have a deeply complex love/hate relationship with the Army. In terms of its organization and decision making capabilities, I think it needs a lot of improvement (I'm being nice). I have somewhat of an authority problem, so it's true that my own personal perspective differs drastically to the system in which I exist thus prompting a healthy amount of discord. Doing anything with the military is a frustrating experience in attempting to interact with a cold, calculating system rife with inefficiencies and devoid of logical skills.
On the other hand, the Army does have a tendency to bring out the best in people. Both in soldiers and in the people that support them. I hold the soldiers that I manage in the highest esteem. Despite the fact that I sometimes have to come down harder on them than I want to, it's impossible not to value each of them as individuals because of their quirks and personalities. As I make my transition yet again into Army life, I am struck by how generous people are in supporting us and how the network of civilians working quietly in the background makes whatever it is that we are doing possible.
As the time grows closer to moving out, I am forced to say goodbye to all the great people I know and even though I know, I'll have a great group of soldiers to lessen the void, goodbyes are always difficult. I have to show off the basket full of goodies that the great folks at Buncombe County Planning put together for me. I think they've all heard my assorted stream of consciousness rants getting ready for overseas and they've been really great about putting up with my incessant yammering about all things Army as my mind became consumed by the realization of going away.
Over the past few days, I've had to relinquish whatever sense of control I felt like I had over my own life and realize I have to turn over some of my autonomy and agency to the Army (if you know me, you know that this is unlikely to happen). Even harder though, I've had to step back and realize that I won't be around to intervene and meddle in the daily lives of my wife and daughter. I have to mentally deal with the idea that I won't be there to contribute my own amount of irrationality and emotion to any problems that creep up while I am away. In all seriousness, as hard as it is to leave my family, I feel at ease with it simply because of the people that have come out of the woodwork to support us all.
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